Poetry

I plucked my wings
from the petals
of a flower
that was too full
of delicate layers
to stand up tall
but was still beautiful
laying against the dirt
defying everything
it was supposed to be
just like me

-peony wings

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Poetry · poetry review · reviews

Review of two McKayla DeBonis poetry collections

Back to my scheduled small/casual poetry reviews, I guess you could call them highlights? Anyways…

I’m focusing on Bones in the Garden and Semicolon; by McKayla DeBonis in this post and I just have to say I love both of these collections so much. They are fluid from poem to poem and are worthy of second reads.

Second reads are my favourite. You go through a second time and find even more life in the words. This is not a bad thing at all. Poems that touch you at first glance, and then grow even more after reading again and again.

Bones in the Garden

Plant me in the ground
Wait for the torrential rainfall
And watch me grow

If you know me… I love bones and flowers. I bought this because of the title alone, with no other recommendation. Because well… the title alone is perfect!

Not only is this beautiful and lyrical, it’s personal and you can feel it. The word arrangement and voice really leave you feeling as if you read a story. I imagined the authors feelings and emotions, but also a fairy tale story played in my mind.

Loving you was like gathering
flowers that grew solely on
battlefields
Impossible                                     

I could write a story out of these poems they inspired me not only in my heart but creatively as well. Can I please just quote every poem here?

 

Semicolon;

Remember I said worthy of second reads? This is definitely the book worthy of second reads!

missing you
is pouring salt on an open wound
– & yet i do it still

Putting aside a whimsical darkness, Semicolon is raw and pointed, with layers. You see an new angle to so many of the poems when you go through again and again… and I’m loving it.

I’m not saying study each poem the first time you read it. It’s really better when you read through the book… and then go back and savor each word. Each arrangement.

Touching on not only how someone else can break you but how you can break yourself. Self-hate and self-harm are just as toxic a lover as people but she turns the words out so beautiful. Illustrating just how it is to feel lost in yourself and your own darkness.

i am
the face of my own death
slowly ripping at the seams
                         – until i fall apart completely 

McKayla turns these dark feelings and words into reassuring images. That you can struggle and grow at the same time, that you can find a light even when the darkness still clings to you.

surviving my sadness was never easy
it came in waves
even when i thought it was safe
– but i am living proof those waves will pass

The second half of the book is worthy of the smiles it gives. The hope and understanding. The support and love McKayla offers not only to herself but to you the reader as well.

Both of these collections got 5stars from me and I’m excited and waiting for more.

Here’s a link to McKayla’s Goodreads page and her website where you can find links to her collections.

Goodreads
&
Website

Blogging · Cottontail Games

Cottontail Games released! Also…

My debut poetry book Cottontail Games: Monsters and Lovers is finally available on Amazon and Kindle!

There are content warnings, it mostly touches on emotional abuse but also stuff like eating disorder, gender issues, mental illness.

It is sapphic. I’m sapphic. Please remember that.

Also a huge thank you to Parker Goodreau who did my cover art! They were so great and helpful and really made my vision for my debut come to reality. I couldn’t have had this book without them. Honestly. I’ll post their site below.
Parker’s website


This book was a year in the works. I didn’t get the idea to put it together until fully realizing that the way I write words and poems was actually something loved and accepted, which was summer 2017.

I found the most AMAZING community within modern free verse poetry. They are supportive and strong and I couldn’t have worked through endless tiredness without them all. The work I turn out, from their inspiration as great poets themselves but also from their support and love, just keeps growing and getting better.

Now for the Also part…

Please keep watch for more information on the next two books that are in the works for next year!

  1. Peony Wings will be more monster and skeleton love, more play on the darker side of fantasy and a real mix of poem styles.
  2. Violet Wings will be all sapphic and enby love.

There are also two smaller projects I’m working on, one is Love Letters to the Universe which will be released slowly through patreon when I have it set up. The other is a fantasy story told through both long and short poems, though still very much in the works.

A novel Warm Bones is in the works and I hope to have it polished enough to start sending out by spring/end of spring. We will see!

Again thank you so much. I love you all.

A.Chivon

Blogging

Back in action~

OK

So I’ve been MIA from here for a while and honestly I just did NOT have the spoons to keep up with all my schedules so I had to pick my battles.

And those were finalizing my debut poetry book and getting onto new meds because my depression and anxiety have been off the wall. Bipolar is just a pain in the ass sometimes ya know? It was also stopping me from going to the gym which I really love because it’s relaxing and does help my chronic pain if I listen to my body and do what I can.

ALSO IT’S NANOWRIMO TIME
Hopefully I can get through my fantasy novel and get it put together to start querying by late spring.

I’ll be making another post soon about my debut poetry book, the release date, and about me returning to short reviews/poetry book mentions twice a week.
There will also be info up soon about sensitivity read services and a patreon where you can get writing/poetry updates as well as a short collection of poems each month that will be compiled into a full book when I finish them.

“Love Letters to the Universe”

poetry review · reviews

moonrise by kaliane faye

Sorry this is a few days late, I’m getting used to keeping a whole schedule thing and working and moving and preparing my first book for self publishing and… so forgive me… I’ll get better at this! Onto the review!


I wasn’t sure what to expect when going into Moonrise by Kaliane Faye but I’m 1000% glad I came across them and added their book to my list.

Seasons

it is October
I should have shed
the skin you kissed by now
but I still feel your
breath down my spine
ice cold chills rattle my ribcage
and the ghost of you still
lingers in my bed

I admit that some of the poems didn’t tug at my heartstrings (unlike the one above. YES.), but they were honest and true from the author so it’s not to say they were bad. Because they weren’t. Which is why I really am iffy about a lot of poetry reviews ya know… because what doesn’t touch you, will touch others.

ANYWAYS-

This book is good. It’s great. It felt youthful, and fresh, and it felt modern too. (ok I haven’t heard the term booty shorts in forever and being reminded this way did throw me off a bit. But whatever haha)

This was youth and innocence twisted into growing up in the ways we don’t want to… but it’s the way many, many, of us have. The themes of toxicity, abuse, love, self-hate all roped together are something we all seem to know. To relate to. To write about. We nod and grip the pages extra tight, feeling like we are sitting right next to the author. Supporting each other.

Masochist

I really am a sucker
for the pain and the danger
lust and unsatisfied hunger
you’re my sweet heartbreaker
so I’ll beg you pretty please
one last time, destroy me
deconstruct me

Did I say innocence? Yea… I read this poem above and I was like… ok ok, Kaliane. You’ve roped me in and now I’m here to stay.

The shorter poems definitely were my favourite, and it might be just because I prefer the way those were written. Some of the longer ones did throw me off, something just felt off in the arrangements maybe(?), but I still enjoyed reading them. I still could tell they were from the heart. I’m still very grateful to have read them.

By the end of the book it lived up to the title. Moonrise. Have you ever seen one? When the moon rises its huge and so bright when its near to/is a full moon. It’s magical. The ending of this book was just that… rising above the horizon. Lighting up, loving yourself, learning to cope, letting go… not just Kaliane saying how she learned to just be who she is, but offering her words to you. Let go. A few brought me to tears, because I’m not even at that point yet of my life, but I understand what she is saying. I see you. Thank you.

Moon

abused women
are like the moon
because even when
the night falls on us
we still rise and shine
over the darkness


Look at that I figured out how to use block quotes finally. Huh!

Find Kaliane’s Goodread page HERE and please get this book!

…..booty shorts
Poetry

we kiss
and dance
in both
moonlight
and
sunlight

– we are celestial


I’ve not written many love poems yet, but when I do they will all be magical…

I hope you all enjoy today and it goes well for you, things have been not so good on my end and I’m just taking this day as a little piece of space and self care.

i love space

also got my stones charging 🙂

poetry review · reviews

love, and you by gretchen gomez

It was a tough read at times, but I think I learned something about myself from this…

I read Gretchen Gomez‘s poetry book Love, and You about 4 times so far and it is absolutely exceptional!


deja vu:
all my previous relationships.
asking myself if i was
enough for him.

– my insecurities are the demons that never go away


Personal and true to the heart, this whole collection is just pure raw lows and highs of loving someone, of learning to love yourself, a toxic relationship, of seeing signs and ignoring them, and seeing them in hindsight.

I think I muttered ‘fuck’ about as many times as there are poems… because I’d read them and would be able to pinpoint with accuracy the very moment that it mirrored with my ex. I found myself tearing up, because Gretchen said things about toxic relationships that keep cycling that I never really admitted to myself… and it hit hard.


i hated the
thought
of losing you

because i thought
no one would
understand me
love me
see me
mentally get me
the way you do.

but
i
was
losing
myself

while still trying to be with you.


I honestly want to take this book, wrap it up, and send it to my ex. (with a picture of my middle finger) because I think this whole collection expresses what I would need to say.

In the beginning you can feel the struggle between I love this person, and this person isn’t good for me. A back and forth were you just start saying… no, keep learning to love yourself, keep moving forward… and then finally like flowers growing from the pages the poems become strength and optimism. A shift to learning to love yourself, to appreciate yourself, to accept flaws, and validate your feelings no matter what.

Gretchen speaks to you as much as she speaks to herself at the end. And if I could give you my colour synesthesia for just a moment I could show you how this collection reads in my head. A tormented back and forth of black and white before suddenly you’re flooded with colours of comfort and empowerment.


one day you
will look back
and be so
happy that your
heart break is over
the suffering is over
the wait is over

and those days
will come and go

you are made of
power and strength


Do not pass this up. Don’t even think of walking past it or swiping past it… you need it.

Thank you so much for sharing this collection and your inner self with us all. This is the part where I hand you flowers as I read the last pages again and again in my head.

A link to Gretchen’s Goodreads page is HERE
there you can find more about her and ways to buy the book! (Buy it… you have to… I wont accept no for an answer)

Poetry

I dipped
my fingers
in silver moonlight,
and painted
the stars
in the sky.

I swiped
my fingers
in harvest moonlight,
to mix
the galaxies,
and form
the nebulae.

I soaked
my fingers
in blood moonlight,
to smudge
in comets,
and splay
time apart,
and fashion
black holes
from
your
heart

 

poetry review · reviews

the princess saves herself in this one by amanda lovelace (blog post / review)

I’m kicking off my reviews (are these really reviews? Casual reviews…) with something a little bias… because I probably have nothing bad to say about the inspiration for me to dig out my poem journal, to revise and share and love them again.

(ok, I won’t have many bad things to say about what I review if I can help it. Feel good reviews!) I’m not going to have a specific formatting for reviews, but I also won’t try to ramble on too much (but I still might, because I’ll do what I want)

anyways…

i. am. in. lowercase. love. with…

the
princess
saves
herself
in
this
one

by Amanda Lovelace


once upon
a time;
the princess
rose from the ashes
her dragon lovers
made of her
&
crowned
herself
the
motherfucking
queen of
herself

– how’s that for a happily ever after?


I got along so well with her on twitter for some time before I took a hiatus and came back and… bam… I saw this book being posted. I checked reviews (which I rarely listen to if they are whining about what THEY prefer in poetry or if they mention tumblr/emo). I decided to get it. I really don’t know what I was expecting. I haven’t dived into the poetry world for a long time…

So when I opened the pages and I saw my heart literally spilling out onto them as the words coated my fingers with each page turn.

Not only was this style familiar to what I’ve written and hidden away, I was reading to her voice, to my own voice. To a thousand voices that all bled the same.

Amanda bared her heart and soul in these words and how they were arranged, which gave such a great unique voice to the way you read them. (I live for word arrangement and free verse!) Sharing such delicate pieces of yourself is hard, and you’re left not only wanting to offer hug but to stand at her side, and cheer her on, and to say ‘you’re not alone’

because these words are so personal, and so important, and they reach out, and grab you. They touch you. I am so grateful for her for sharing this, for letting us in, and letting us feel it along side her. For sharing with us, and also listening, because she does. Even if you haven’t interacted with her.

What else hits me is, even if you don’t relate to a topic, it still grabs you. So what stuck out among all else was Amanda talking about death, especially in the second of the three sections, and how it literally put a weight on my chest. I’ve never experienced death to a great degree, so it’s almost a foreign feeling to me… aside from constant anxiety over it.

So reading each poem, each page, my nose was burning, my chest was tight… I could feel that tingling behind my eyes and cheeks as I wanted to reach into these pages and just be there for this girl. Even now as I skim through for examples, how do I pick just one or two to post here? This is personal, this is a complicated relationship between real people and death and abuse and love… you don’t pick just one example. I want to just buy you the book if you haven’t read it yet. I’m sure you have if you’re here though, and if not, get it!

perhaps…


i never
expected
death
to be my most
faithful companion,
but she is
the only one
who will come
without
having to be
asked.

– the only one who will never leave.


The princess does save herself, and there are very wonderful and positive poems in this collection as well. It’s a package deal, and it’s great. Amanda was even amazing enough to provide a content warning at the beginning of the book, which is something I hope to see more often.

While I could ramble on forever, I won’t.

Find her on Goodreads and keep up (and buy)~

Poetry

draw your hexes
on my skin
let this ugly
curse begin

solstice fire
the moon’s ablaze
look upon me
with this undead gaze

your touches disguised
as ‘I love you’
but I learned
in this witches brew
you are nothing,
nothing
but cruel